WE WANT DALLAS

My earliest memory as a young football fan is sitting at the dinner table with my family and just as my father goes to take a bite of his steak I lean over and say, “Dad, I think I want to be a Dallas Cowboys fan.”

Upon hearing these words my dad immediately dropped his fork. It made a loud clanging noise as it struck the side of his plate on its way down to the floor. My father’s face twisted in a mixture of anger and disgust. I looked over at my mother. She wore a nervous look on her face. I looked back to my father. He was staring right at me. He leaned slowly over to me.

“Cowboy fans aren’t welcome at this table so I believe you best apologize for that statement or spend the rest of your days starving.”

I quickly retracted my words. I had not been serious. My football allegiance was with the Washington Redskins just the same as my father’s. I had only been trying to get a rise out of the old man, but that plan backfired greatly. What I might not have grasped entirely that day but came to understand over the years was that the worst thing a Redskins fan could hear about their only son was that he turned out to be a Cowboys fan. What I did learn that day was that Dallas was the enemy and even joking about rooting for them was unacceptable.

The Washington Redskins and Dallas Cowboys have been playing each other in football since 1960 and over the past 52 years a strong hatred between the two teams has been forged. Dallas is known as America’s team, but to Redskins fans everywhere they represent pure evil. This evil starts with owner Jerry Jones who if I came across on the street and he was on fire I would piss on him to put him out and then relight him on fire just to have experienced the honor of pissing on him.

Both franchises have had their ups and downs. Between 1980, the year I was born, and 1992 the Redskins won three Super bowls in four tries. Between 1992 and 1996 the criminal Cowboys led by captain cocaine Michael Irvin, that dumb blond quarterback Troy Aikman and the invincible Emmitt Smith won three out of four Super Bowls.

Since then the Redskins have been a joke on almost a yearly basis while the Cowboys haven’t been much better. Despite this lack of recent success the rivalry has only gotten more and more bitter. When teams are winning championships losing to a rival is acceptable. When you can barely make the playoffs playing your rival is the biggest game of the year every time you play.

As a Redskins fan we live for Dallas week. We want Dallas every week because every time we beat them feels like the first time. Hatred can do things to a man and in the case of Redskins nation it has made us crave every chance we can get at crushing the Cowboys competitive spirit. While the pain of losing to Dallas can be crippling it can never compare to the joy of beating them.

That’s why Redskin fans everywhere are thanking Santa this year. Not only is the week of Christmas this year Dallas week, this particular game means even more. The winner this Sunday night in Landover , MD wins the NFC East title and a berth in the playoffs, the loser goes home left to stew over being eliminated by their most bitter of rivals all off season long.

The Cowboys come in winners of five of their last seven led by doctor domestic abuse Dez Bryant and that even dumber brunette quarterback Tony Romo. The Redskins come in winners of their last six led by the best player in the league Robert Griffin III and the best linebacker not named Ray Lewis to play in the NFL over the past sixteen years, London Fletcher.

Someone insisted to me the other day that the Redskins would be better off if their season depended on them beating some last place team we could roll over without a worry at all. They went on and on how playing a divisional foe with so much on the line was not really the most ideal scenario for my burgundy and gold brethren to face. I listened patiently and waited for them to finish. When they did all I said were three words: “WE WANT DALLAS” because not making the playoffs is worth it just to have a chance at not only beating Dallas but to be the ones to end their season.

This latest installation of Redskins versus Cowboys promises to be one of the most memorable of all time. The forecast calls for snow and FedEx Field Field promises to be so loud Jerry Jones might actually be able to hear fans chants without his diamond encrusted hearing aid.

The powers that be have flexed this game into the prime time slot. By kickoff time every franchise other than Washington and Dallas will have played their last regular season game. If you are a fan of one of these other teams that have either locked up a playoff spot or are solidifying top ten draft picks I encourage you not to just watch this Redskins Cowboys game, but to embrace a fifty-two year old hatred that only grows stronger with time. There is always room on the Redskins Fan Wagon but be warned it’s Dallas week which means you always keep your head on a swivel and you need to always be prepared to join Redskins fans everywhere as they chant loudly and proudly, “WE WANT DALLAS.”

HAIL TO THE REDSKINS! BUY MY BOOK LOVE LIFE BY CLICKING ON THE LOVE LIFE LINK UP AND TO THE RIGHT FROM HERE!

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